Hello!

I'm Sara, and I primarily write personal narrative essays and short fiction.

I also love to create planning and organizational tools, sing, make art, teach, and advocate for Autistic people and those with chronic illness.

Presently I'm working on a collection of short stories while pitching some standalone brief fiction and essays to online and print publications. 

I also publish a sporadic email newsletter where subscribers receive musings, updates on projects, recommendations, and more.

I live and work in Seattle, Washington, U.S. with my spouse and three kiddos.

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1. Subscribe to the free newsletter to stay in the loop on all new published works, upcoming projects, and to receive sporadic musings, recommendations, and more.
2. Read available published works.
3. Learn more about me and my journey below. 

I have various interests, passions, and desires.

We all do, I’m sure. Having worked several different jobs since I was 13 years old, I’ve chosen to not focus on one theme or niche with my writing.

I've been:

• a restaurant busser (“Under-the-table” at 13, working for a fellow softball player’s parents’ business for a couple of summers)

• a customer service rep

• an office assistant

• an office manager

• Vice President of a small company

• a traveling sales associate

• an opera singer

• a downsizing contractor / a “down-sizer” (a subcontractor helping companies close or downsize with minimal fallout. Sounds terrible, but mostly I helped laid-off or shuffled employees find new employment or arranged their moving accommodations)

• a brief stint in insurance

• a ghostwriter

• a restaurant server

• briefly a stay-at-home mom

• a Mary Kay consultant (learned a lot, at least…)

• a graphic designer

• a website designer/front-end web developer

• a blogger

• an entrepreneur business consultant and online strategist

• and a freelance writer

And I’ve seemingly been even a slightly different person with each job and with each stage of life.

Within the past few years, I realized I’d only ever made professional decisions based on what other people said I was good at, or because of something others wanted or needed from me.

Marketing experts will tell you that’s the key to professional success: find people’s pain points and sell them a solution. But after at least several major Autistic burnouts (not including health downtimes), I can tell you that method of "professional success" isn't for everyone. Or, maybe just not for every neurotype.

I can hear my old Mary Kay network of uplines back in Florida. They'd constantly say, in one way or another, that we have to push ourselves beyond our comfort zones.

“When we’re comfortable, we’re stagnant.”

I disagree, to a point.

When I’m comfortable, I have the capacity to work and grow. When I’m uncomfortable, I’m more likely to experience mental paralysis, leaving me stagnant, and with increased executive dysfunction.

Nothing works the same for everyone.

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After a slew of health issues and, later, diagnoses; most doctors blamed my predicament on me being fat.

Only after we moved to Seattle in 2018 was my body finally acknowledged as a symptom and not the problem. 

I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2019. During the COVID-19 lockdowns of 2020, we discovered that our household members are all Autistic. And in early 2022, myself and my three children were officially diagnosed. My husband, Brian, self-identifies as Autistic (perfectly valid). And as it namely affects him socially and communicatively, he’s found no need to seek official diagnosis.

I needed external validation from a professional. He didn’t.

With every twist and turn in life, I’ve molded myself into whoever someone else needed me to be—I've masked who I truly am. It was a survival strategy of a neurodivergent mind living in a dominantly neurotypical world.

I feared rejection, and feared being thought of (or found out) as an imposter.

I didn’t deceive to be deceptive.

I camouflaged the version of myself that brought out the most vile pieces in others so I’d never have to see that side of people again.

“Everyone masks [their true selves],” an Allistic (a non-Autistic) person always seems to chime in. But as an Autistic person trying to survive in a world not built to include us, you keep masking to get by. Because the rejection of society is far worse than the thought-to-be irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) you suffer from, or the chronic headaches, or the severe anxiety and, often, depression—symptoms that seem synonymous with Autistic people.

Then once you (think you) get everything figured out, you know it’s best to unmask your authentic self. Beneath, you have years—layers—of your carefully crafted persona. A persona which allowed you to skulk along in society generally undetected.

You begin peeling back those layers. And by the time you begin, you’re unraveling a canvas that’s been painted over so many times, it feels impossible to differentiate which layer is actually you and which ones you built up to just get by with.

It’s such a mess, you wish you unrolled a blank canvas instead.

To begin unmasking and defining who I really am, I started by identifying the things I knew were true about myself:

• I love writing, singing, reading and consuming stories from all mediums.

• I love the Visual Arts, too.

• I love my family, my “chosen family,” and friends. And I love figuring out relational things, growing socially, etc.

• I like, but simultaneously hate, the outdoors. Mainly due to potential bugs, the feeling of being unclean is a major sensory issue, and my mast cell condition makes heat and sun exposure dangerous. (Probably compounded with the pain of hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome [hEDS], too, makes the outdoors more difficult to mentally and physically traverse.)

• I far prefer living in a metropolis and visiting the suburbs, the woods, etc. Even as a family with three kids.

• I have an overwrought sense of justice.

• I’m a secular humanist.

• I’m egalitarian.

• I love makeup and skin care, and learning how to improve skin health, its appearance, and the way it feels (without cosmetic procedures).

• I’m obsessed with indoor plants.

• I’m intrigued by sociology, psychology, anthropology, and neurodivergence.

• And I’m interested in health and wellness catered to people with chronic illness and those with general disabilities.

And I like to share and write about these topics, as varied as they may be.

My writing isn’t exclusionary.

I don’t write solely for chronic illness and/or neurodivergent folks. I focus on living life with intention that just-so happens to revolve around the chronically ill and the neurodivergent. Which means anyone can benefit from it, especially those who want to take life and work a little slower and approach both with more purpose.

I explore living life to the fullest without guilt, shame, and with as little (unintentionally) self-inflicted pain as possible—no matter life's complexities.

My goal is to not run myself into the ground like I’ve repeatedly done in the past; holding myself to some neurotypical, healthy-person standards that have set me up for failure from the very start.

As varied as my writing focuses may seem, over the past decade, I’ve found there are people who enjoy and care about the same things I do, no matter the vastness. I write and share because I love to, and enjoy when others do, too. And because I genuinely want to contribute even a small takeaway you can utilize in your life. Something you can improve your communication with, something to increase connectivity and empathy with others over, and something that can offer someone more joy, self-exploration, and contentment.

I’m weird. I’m scattered. I’m kind-hearted. And I’m extremely flawed.

You’re welcome to challenge and engage with me by replying to any message you receive, or emailing me directly at sara[at]segwrites.com.

I’m on a mission to continue figuring out who I am without the social mask I spent decades creating. And I’m ecstatic that you’re journeying with me.

If you take anything from this, let it be that I care about you and that my goal is to expand what we both know, what we can empathize and sympathize with, and contribute to bettering us both, whether that be through non-fiction or exploring fictionalized scenarios.

Through writing, I’m focusing on finding my Authentic Self by mining the past, present, and building toward a future I can be proud of, and one we can all feel even more comfortable in. And I'll do my best to offer plenty of nuggets, takeaways, and entertaining bits for you to pocket along the way.

Thanks, again, for joining me. And thanks for reading.

My best,

Sara

Suggested Pieces to Start with:

Open (2024), flash fiction, Patreon

"Tonight, he is with someone else. He texted her from some beer hall she's forgotten the name of. Said he's going home with someone. He'd be back late. He sent the address and a kissy-face emoji. Love you, baby, he wrote."

reclaiming stolen time (2024), musing, Hey, World!

"I tell myself that all these missed opportunities are a season, and it will pass, but as a new acquaintance with grown children pointed out: my oldest is [fifteen] and is in the place where she hardly wants to do anything anymore, let alone do it with her family. Pulling no punches in regard to my teenager ever wanting to do things with the family again, the acquaintance said, 'That ship has sailed.'"

18 Years Later (2023), essay, Life and Other Stories

"All the times I wanted to call her, but if I did, a stranger would answer.

"All the moments I needed her with me, but she couldn’t be there.

"Most times when I kiss my husband and I feel safe and warm and loved, I wonder if my dad gave my mom that same feeling. I hold my kids, and I wonder if that blanket of love my mind drapes around them was an experience she had when she’d hug my brother and me."

But You Don't Look Autistic (2022), essay, Invisible Illness

"For nearly two years I’ve been learning about Autism and trying to reimagine my life knowing that the struggles I’ve faced were not those of a deficient or 'ridiculous' person, but of one who is differently wired."

fitting in at what cost? (2021), essay, Hey, World!

"I shifted toward him and said, 'It’s not that I’m exactly struggling more now, I’m just showing you more of my struggles — I’m unmasking as I learn more about Autism. And now you’re just seeing more of my processing that I hid from everyone as to not inconvenience others.'"

then it was over (2021), short narrative essay, Hey, World!

"I couldn't speak for a couple days after the tube came out. She fidgeted more, stopping only after she asked me if I minded if she returned to work. She was falling behind, she said. I croaked an OK and she said she loved me. Then she went back out for a cigarette."

Better (2017), short story, Medium

"I could feel her eyes on me, boring in. I couldn’t tell if they were regretful or fierce. I refused to look at her, to give her that satisfaction just to find out."

It's All Immaterial (2017), short story, Medium

"She never once pushed him, he just assumed she was trying to get her way constantly. She’s the one who pursued him. He liked that. He loved that about her, even. He’d never met a woman who went after him like she did, and . . ."

That's a Twenty Well Spent (2017), personal essay, Ascent Publication

"I rarely look at the people with cardboard signs and cheap marker ink staining their fingertips. But today was different."

SEE MORE PUBLISHED WORK

P.S. I predominantly write from my personal experience as an Autistic person with ADHD, chronic illness, Anxiety, and more. Each of these factors can influence my individual experience overall, as well as my experience of each condition.

What I share is not a substitute for medical advice.

Self-identification of Autism (what many call “self-diagnosis”) is perfectly valid. If a personal Autistic experience I write about resonates deeply with you, consider these resources on Embrace Autism (starting with the Autism Quotient Test) as a first step. If professional assessment is important to you or your life has been impeded enough that you may need to qualify for Disability, you can print your results to bring to a diagnostician. (Having all those tests completed in advance saved me a lot of money!) Although there are many more diagnosticians available, here is a comprehensive list to get you started.

Lastly, some of my opinions may have changed since I first wrote the piece that lead you here.

Email me with any questions, and I’ll respond as soon as I can.